You’re not broken. Listening to your needs without feeling broken.
Meet Alyssa, the multitasking maestro who wears a lot of hats from VP at her company to mom of two tiny humans, wife, and daughter extraordinaire. She’s also someone who LOVES to get shit done. But lately, not so much. She’s felt more like a machine than human, in a life filled with a series of tasks, and moving from one thing to the next has felt like a slog.
We've all been there, right? Maybe you feel like you don’t want to do a damn thing and you don’t want anyone to ask you for anything either.
Alyssa thinks she needs to fix herself so that she can keep going.
She's got a schedule demanding enough to make time jealous. Add in the cultural soundtrack telling her that if she doesn’t keep moving forward she’s an inadequate leader, mom, daughter, wife, and woman.
Her emotions, body, mind and spirit are so intelligent and they’re communicating to her that she’s depleting herself and she won’t find fulfillment in checking another thing off of her list.
Oy. Can we just pause for a moment. This is so big that I want to repeat it.
There is a strong cultural message that says we need to keep going or we’re inadequate. If we stop, something bad will happen. But, our bodies are telling us that we need to stop.
Alyssa isn’t broken. This message is broken. It’s causing many, like Alyssa, to ignore their emotions, body, and needs and to lead lives of quiet desperation.*
What in the world can we do? Here’s a tiny practice that can make a really big difference.
Step 1: Stop. Seriously, pause. Now, ask yourself, what do I really need right now? It's okay if finding this answer is challenging.
Step 2: Allow space for the answer. It might only come in a FEELING. You may not even know you’re feeling or what you need right now, and that’s okay. Allow yourself to just BE in your experience.
Step 3: If you don’t know, take a wild guess as to something that might feel good, like a walk around the block. Cancel a meeting. Listen to some of your favorite 90’s music. Call a friend.
Step 4: You’re holding a lot and doing a lot and YOU NEED care, attention and nourishment. As a reminder, this isn’t so that you can keep going, but just because it’s YOU. Remind yourself of this as often as you need.
I do this practice often and what has surprised me is how often I answer myself with “I don’t know.” I sit with that not knowing and then I begin to FEEL. The feeling becomes the answer.
So, next time you feel caught up in the chaos, pause, look within and gently ask yourself what you need. The guidance you’re looking for is right there within you.
XO
Sarah
P.S. Oh, before we go! I have a quick question for you. I’m offering a new class Empowered Ease beginning in March (yay!). If there were ONE thing you could have in that course, what would it be? Hit REPLY and tell me.
*Taken from a Theroux quote.
